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Mean Mums???
Discussions : Australia : Mean Mums???
tigress wrote:
Some of you may know this poem. I love it! Thought I would share. It was given to me cut out of a newspaper when my first child was born nearly 20 years ago..Where are all the Mean Mums today??
I loved you enough
Someday when my children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will
tell them, as my Mean Mum told me:
I loved you enough . . .
to ask where you were going, with whom,
and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough...
to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours
while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger,
disappointment, and tears in my eyes.
Children must learn that their parents aren’t perfect.
I loved you enough to let you assume the
responsibility for your actions even when the
penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of all.
I’m glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.
Was your Mum mean? I know mine was. We had the
meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids
ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.
When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.
And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all
times. You’d think we were convicts in a prison. She
had to know who our friends were, and what we were
doing with them. She insisted that if we said we
would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve
to break the Child Labour Laws by making us work.
We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to
cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash
and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie
awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth, the
whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time
we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had
eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!
Mother wouldn’t let our friends just honk the horn
when they drove up. They had to come up to the door
so she could meet them. While everyone else could
date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.
Because of our mother, we missed out on lots of
things other kids experienced. None of us have ever
been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other’s
property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.
Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults.
We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mum was.
I think that is what’s wrong with the world today.
It just doesn’t have enough mean mums!
Tigxx
thelilacangel replied:
So true
My 12 yo went to live with her father last July cos i was a "mean mum'
I wouldnt let her wear make up to school, i expected her home when i said, and I had to know whom she was with, I expected her to show the same respect to her step father as she would show anyone else
So she moved out and now lives with her father who lets her do whatever she please whenever she pleases
So if what is what makes a 'mean mum' then yes i am proud to say 'Im a mean mum"
Deb
sweetangel replied:
Between the ages of 10 - 21, my parents drove me mad because they were so overprotective, I didn't seem to have the same freedoms that my friends had. I almost hated them for it.
Now I have 4 kids of my own, I know that they weren't being nasty or old fashioned, they were just caring. I've apologised a few times to my Mum for my behaviour as a teenager. But you know what, I didn't do drugs, I didn't sleep around, I found a wonderful man and my Mum still calls me once or twice a week to make sure I'm alright.
I've noticed myself lately saying and doing things just like my mum, instead of being horrified, I take comfort in the fact that I might in fact be doing a good job of being a Mother.
tigress replied:
Hi Deb
Children do need to be guided. If thats not there then they dont learn to respect. Respect for themselves or others.
I was heading home one night and there was a large group of young teenagers male and female staggering all over the road drunk. Where are their parents? Why arent they home with their families? Its crazy out there today.
Proud Mean Mum also
Tig
PASH replied:
you no reading that is just like looking into my life, i admit i am a mean mum, an the real dissapointment of it all is that my youngest is still the terror of the neighborhood i cant understand it cause it dosent matter wat i do he still goes and gets himself in trouble, today is the first day i have let him out to play with his friends in 2 1/2 wks, hoping he can behave cause i honestly dont no wat to do with him no more, nearly always in tears, di
sweetangel replied:
How old is he Di? It's in kids natures to rebel. I'm pretty strict with my kids, but they are still being almighty little s***s at the moment. The boys hit each other, fight, argue, give me cheek. The younger ones are into everything, I can't turn my back for a minute. I'm surprised my 4 year old hasn't tried to flush the dog down the loo. Although I have caught him trying to give it a bath in there.
Wanna swap kids?
If it gets too much and you need to talk, I'll send you my details.
PASH replied:
hes 9 the little bugger, he gets with his friends and its just havoc, throwing rocks at my neighbors houses, on the highway hitting cars, theiving, lighting fires, fighting and bashing other kids, u name it hes doing it seriously, and in all honesty i blame the 71/2 yrs i was with his dad, sorry any men out there but he never helped the situation any, use to make it worse.
Ladywytch replied:
Cheers to all the mean mums you won't have druggies or boozers, you won't be an early grandparent and you can stand up and be so very proud of both your child/children and yourselves.
Mean mum's and dad's rule.
I hope the one thing that I have taught my kids is how to be a mean parent so they can be just as proud as thier kids as I am of mine.
It isn't easy but by the Gods it is worth it when at 20 they come home and 'ask' if they can go out again and only to a mates to play computer games - not a pub/club. When alot of the kids they went to school with have already had run ins with the law , 2 are fathers and 7 are mothers and then recently a cop comes to my door after an attempted break in and asks if we are new to the neighbourhood cause he doesn't recognize the kids (been here 8 years) I know being tough from day 1 was the right thing to do.
to every mean, heartless, callous parent out there stand up and take a bow.
M
MJ78 replied:
Quote:
I've noticed myself lately saying and doing things just like my mum, instead of being horrified, I take comfort in the fact that I might in fact be doing a good job of being a Mother.
Exactly the same for me to! My younger brother died when i was only 2 and it shattered my parents forever (as you would imagine) so my parents were extremely over protective of me.
I was never allowed to sleep over friends houses and i age restrictions on everything - 13 to get ears pierced, 15 to wear make up, 16 to start dating, i was banned from schoolies week etc etc etc
At that time i hated them for it, but again, i was a model child for them, because i didn't rebel either. As samred said - i didn't sleep around, i didn't do drugs, i didn't even drink alcohol until i was 18 etc.
I was allowed friends and went to the movies etc, but i wasn't allowed to do anything like them.
I always told my mum when i had kids i would never treat them the same way. I know i will be more lenient in their teenage years but I will do a lot of the same things that I was put through to. When i read that poem for the first time I realised that my mum was only trying to do the best that she could with me. although my other brother got a lot more than i ever did. but i wouldn't have wanted a different relationship with my parents, its whats has kept us this close and even closer since i've had my own kids.
sweetangel replied:
My Parents had their reason s for being protective. I was the youngest of five kids, one sister burnt herself really badly with hot water when she was 4, one brother got run over by a 4x4 when he was 14. The others just managed to still get themselves into mischief. I think my parents knew all the tricks that kids try to use and had eyes in the back of their heads.
CustomCandles replied:
Oh I hear you all.
My kids tell me that I am the meaniest mum in the whole world.
I have four of the little darlings, all boys and all terrors.
My eldest is 13 1/2 and he is giving us such a hard time at the moment. Nothing is ever good enough for him, we never give him anything or let him go anywhere.
He has a mobile phone and gets credit every month, he plays in 3 basketball teams, one being a rep side so we are running around after him 6 days a week. All we ask him to do is every second week do the dishes, the other week feed the dog and keep his room clean. Not much to ask I don't think.
He thinks that we are asking to much of him and we never do anything for him.
MMMMMMMMM
So yep, I will stand up and be counted as a Mean Mum, just ask my kids, they will tell you just how mean I am.
Sharon
Snazza replied:
I loved that poem. Thank you for sharing it. It seems sad to me the way modern society is going. You just see so many kids, teenagers etc running a muck and you just shake your head and wonder where are the parents? Dont they care? Dont they even know their own children?
I have two kids. A 12 yr old daughter who started High School this year and a 19mth old son.
My daughter is a follower. She cant understand when i put my foot down and say no to her for certain things. She fails to see the dangers in anything. I worry so much about her having to keep up with the "cool" kids. I am definately a mean mum and proud of it. I want my daughter to understand and realise the dangers out there and to not just drift along in la la land thinking nothing will ever happen to her. I want her to have fun but i want her to be advised and follow simple rules. High School is a real challenge. I can already see the change in her attitude. But I am standing firm about what I know to be right.
When I was a teenager and into my early 20's I was a bit self centred. I never did drugs or slept around and I didnt ever taste alchohol until i was 21. But I did have a bit of an attiude. My dad would constantly advise me to think of others and give of thyself. It use to drive me bananas. He was the most selfless man I have ever had the privledge to know. The lectures he gave me, I felt hatred towards him. But he still continued to put me and others before himself always.
My Dad died of lung Cancer in 1997 and boy i miss him still. What i would give for one of his lectures. But you know something. For all those times he tried to drum into me about giving of thyself. It really hit home in my adult years and now i find myself quoting his wisdom to my daughter. I constantly think of how my actions will effect others and always try to do the very best i can at helping people and putting their needs first.
Our parents are our greatest influence in our lives. The old saying cruel to be kind is so true.
Snazza
SexxxyThingz replied:
Mean mums are priceless,Mean = loving,caring and protective.I wish I had one.
My hat goes off to you all for doing a sterling job of bringing up your kiddies and being great role models