THE CHAPEL IN THE WOODS

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Graham wrote:

THE CHAPEL IN THE WOODS

Some time ago an English lady was looking for rooms in a little village in Hortz, Germany, and asked the local schoolmaster if he could recommend anything. He took her to several delightful places, and she finally decided on a particular place. On her way home, however, it occurred to her that she had not noticed a W.C. so she wrote immediately to the schoolmaster to ask if there was one in or near the house. The schoolmaster, on receiving the letter, was much troubled, for his English language was very limited and he did not understand the abbreviation. Finally he asked the local priest to help him, and together they tried to think what W.C. might stand for. At last they came to the conclusion that the abbreviation meant "Wold Chapelle" (Chapel in the Woods), so the schoolmaster replied as follows:

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Your Ladyship: I have great pleasure in informing you that the W.C. is situated about 9 miles from the house, in the centre of a beautiful grove of pine trees and surrounded by wonderful scenery. It is capable of holding 250 people, and is open on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday of each week. As there are many visitors there during the summer months, I would advise you to go early, although there is plenty of standing room. This will be an unfortunate position for you if you are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will be glad to know that quite a number of people take their lunch and make a day of it. Others who cannot spare the time, travel by car and arrive just in time. I should especially recommend your Ladyship to pay a visit on a Tuesday, as there is an organ accompaniment. The accoustics are excellent, and even the most delicate sounds are audible.

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It may interest you to know that my daughte.r was married in our W.C. It was there that she met her husband. I remember the marriage quite well on account of the rush for seats. There were ten people on the seat I usually occupy, and it was wonderful to see the expression on their faces. My father has been regular ever since the day he was baptised, and wealthy residents of our district recently erected a bell over the W.C. to be rung every time a member enters.

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A bazaar is to be held soon, and the proceeds will go towards furnishing plush seats. Those who come feel it is a long walk and need to have something soft to sit on. My wife is rather delicate and cannot go regularly; it is six years since she last went; and it pains her very much.

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I will be delighted to reserve the very best seat for you if you advise me of your needs before lunch.

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Yours..............................